A New Life
I've now had two sets of seizures separated by seven weeks. I now have lost about two years of memory. I have nearly no short term memory at all. The anti seizure drug has made nearly all food taste disgusting. Only water tastes right. I did force down two pieces of anchovy pizza in the last two days and half a yogurt and two bites of chicken. Pork, my king of meats, the flavor I salivate over now tastes absolutely horrible. That alone is a bit depressing. I have lost five pounds so that's good, but.....
I can no longer drive. If I make it two months I get my license back. Desires? I have none. I only care about gardening, my family and the green bay packers. Everything else that I've loved and participated in no longer mean a thing to me I can hardly remember any songs I've played on the guitar for fifty years. Sometimes if I remember three notes muscle memory will bring back some of it. I would still love to trout fish but they won't let me. I also hate the news, I hate the sound of trumps voice, I hate what he and his republican supporters in congress are willing to sacrifice this democratic republic for Donald Fing Trump and destroy the separation of powers, destroy the independence of the justice department,....Man that was a run on wasn't it? I don't care it expressed what I wanted. That's becoming rare. I don't know if I want to be cognizant of where we are going and what we are doing to ourselves..
When I had my first seizure I was about to vote. I demanded to vote before they hauled me away to the ER. A paramedic happened to be there. I voted, it's a duty. Now I don't know if a vote is going to matter any more. That's how much danger this country could be in. If you think I am overstating this, just keep your eyes open.
Sorry about all that, I'll probably forget this in a few hours. No biggie, like I said, it's a new life.
I find the willingness to give it up frightening.