Jury Duty

Shawn C.Shawn C. Senior MemberPosts: 5,969 Senior Member
Eff that...
Man, I did nine years active duty. Let some shmoe who never served do this ****. Especially some Mormon jagoff that has never done anything for their community or country because all of their effort is directed towards their church.
I have not been picked yet but had to fill out my questionnaire so I think me getting the call is inevitable.
So, if I get called in and questioned, what are some things I could say that would get me out of that ****-show? And yeah, I'll lie like a rug with my hand on the bible when sworn in for questioning so that isn't any problem.
Thanks for the suggestions!

Replies

  • FishTXFishTX Super Moderator Posts: 7,780 Senior Member
    I showed up a week ago and was told it had been called off. I should have read the whole summons. There is a phone number to call the night before to see if you have to show up.

    This was third summons in a couple years. I need to move to a county with more people. :)
    "We have to find someone who can not only fly this plane, but who didn't have fish for dinner."

    Crooow:This music would work better with women in bikinis shaking all over the place. I guess that's true of any music really.
  • FishTXFishTX Super Moderator Posts: 7,780 Senior Member
    Shave your head. Wrap yourself in a window curtain. Carry a tambourine and use it as a bowl to solicit funds from the judge and lawyers for your new Church of Simms.
    "We have to find someone who can not only fly this plane, but who didn't have fish for dinner."

    Crooow:This music would work better with women in bikinis shaking all over the place. I guess that's true of any music really.
  • fishingcomicfishingcomic Senior Member Posts: 22,265 Senior Member
    Wear a Black Lives Matter t-shirt.
    'I've spoken of the Shining City all my political life. …In my mind it was a tall, proud city built on rocks stronger than oceans, windswept, God-blessed, and teeming with people of all kinds living in harmony and peace; a city with free ports that hummed with commerce and creativity. And if there had to be city walls, the walls had doors and the doors were open to anyone with the will and the heart to get here. That's how I saw it, and see it still.'" Ronald Reagan
  • fishingcomicfishingcomic Senior Member Posts: 22,265 Senior Member
    Best idea, quote SDD.
    'I've spoken of the Shining City all my political life. …In my mind it was a tall, proud city built on rocks stronger than oceans, windswept, God-blessed, and teeming with people of all kinds living in harmony and peace; a city with free ports that hummed with commerce and creativity. And if there had to be city walls, the walls had doors and the doors were open to anyone with the will and the heart to get here. That's how I saw it, and see it still.'" Ronald Reagan
  • Shawn C.Shawn C. Senior Member Posts: 5,969 Senior Member
    Wear a Black Lives Matter t-shirt.

    Bingo! In UT that is a sure no-go! I love it!!!
  • flytrapflytrap Banned Posts: 1,659 Senior Member
    I'm surprised you feel that way. You spent nine years defending the right to a jury trial and now want to deny that right to someone.
    I was never called and, if my understanding is correct, won't be since Wisconsin apparently has a 65 year old cutoff. I would have been proud to serve. OTOH, it was hilarious when the Dragon Lady was called,. entering the court saying "No **** English speaking" and "O.J did it!" Not only was she not selected but got a small fine for contempt of court. Ah, well. They did permanently delete her from the jury rolls.
    There are worse things in life than being a born cynic.
  • Shawn C.Shawn C. Senior Member Posts: 5,969 Senior Member
    Oh, I don't want to deny anyone their right to due process. I just want someone else to be represented in a jury of their peers.
    The story about your wife is too funny!
  • jbillyjbilly Senior Member Posts: 4,868 Senior Member
    Wear a Black Lives Matter t-shirt.

    LMAO. Well done.
  • ricinusricinus Senior Member Posts: 6,214 Senior Member
    Just say you're a close friend of BrianD. That will do it.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    My new goal in life is to become an Alter Kaker...
  • Shawn C.Shawn C. Senior Member Posts: 5,969 Senior Member
    You know who would have some great tips for me? Sherb. **** you, Sherb!!!

    Speaking of which, did he get the job?
  • flytrapflytrap Banned Posts: 1,659 Senior Member
    I'm still trying to figure out why he thought he had to leave the board, I mean, poking fun at a bunch of talkative blowhards like us, (and I include myself) is hardly a sign of poor character.
    There are worse things in life than being a born cynic.
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 9,895 Senior Member
    Shawn C. wrote: »
    You know who would have some great tips for me? Sherb. **** you, Sherb!!!

    Speaking of which, did he get the job?

    I'm still in contact with Sherb. I don't know if he got the job, but do know that he is dead. He told me.

    His water pipe exploded in his face.
  • HextallHextall Senior Member Posts: 9,520 Senior Member
    I always pictured sherb vaping.
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 9,895 Senior Member
    No. He dips, like the rugged man he is. Was. Cause he's dead now.
  • HextallHextall Senior Member Posts: 9,520 Senior Member
    I'll never forget the image of sherb emerging from that vape cloud. It was not so different than when Bon Jovi would emerge from the smoke machine smoke to sing Living on a Prayer.

    Bon Jovi... sherb's favorite band.

    Living on a Prayer, sherb's mantra.
  • HextallHextall Senior Member Posts: 9,520 Senior Member
    Guys, you know how there's that old wives tale that when your ear is ringing it means someone is talking about you?

    Well, it's happening to me right now, but it's sherb's cherub-like voice signing You Give Love a Bad Name.

    Man, did he love Bon Jovi or what?
  • HextallHextall Senior Member Posts: 9,520 Senior Member
    Guys, here's sherb graduating from law school:

    commencement-bon-jovi_exch.jpg

    Here's the lady that took sherb's virginity:
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRSv0C2KlbZsnZafrSEsuBawumGUR-6LrnUbH9-ZhRE9K5TwoYH

    Here's sherb enjoying his favorite non-Diet Coke beverage:
    2d2211175c9996f6115c3927bf2bfb6e.jpg

    Here's sherb trying to figure out a tough bar exam question:
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTdNBM-zKnEG3aVkV7hWlinaQuuoZQ8vSBx81E4DK7XxzGxM4iX

    Here's sherb wishing he didn't delete his account so he could defend against my character assassination:
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR8YBDtvqPbSqMtFqTaRHYf6n5GYknRaGw-i-bN8vGtointioQU

    Here's sherb and his "recon" squad (this one might actually get me hurt):
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR_u9M3U-rScEBolqHoXFOaWHltKqityBScNlvm0K6eNYjqLPNrOw
  • jbillyjbilly Senior Member Posts: 4,868 Senior Member
    Hextall wrote: »

    Here's sherb trying to figure out a tough bar exam question:
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTdNBM-zKnEG3aVkV7hWlinaQuuoZQ8vSBx81E4DK7XxzGxM4iX

    This must have been from his younger more reckless days where he experimented with recreational hats
  • Shawn C.Shawn C. Senior Member Posts: 5,969 Senior Member
    Hmm, didn't know that Sherb was a member of the Recon Queen platoon.
  • HextallHextall Senior Member Posts: 9,520 Senior Member
    Gang, we all know that sherb is a meat and potatoes, carry a lunchbox to work, Ford pickup driving, nymph drifting, red blooded American (capital f-ing A).

    That's why his favorite band member isn't glory boy Jon or **** hound Richie. Sherb is a Tico Torres man through and through.
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 9,895 Senior Member
    Sherb actually had a guilty pleasure in the song, "Jump" by Richard Van Haylen.
  • NZ IndicatorNZ Indicator Senior Member Posts: 9,626 Senior Member
  • HextallHextall Senior Member Posts: 9,520 Senior Member
    Joe K. wrote: »
    I want to 3d print this so I can throw it into the sea. SEA!

    (my latest favorite twitter account is @getinthesea. I can't stop telling people and things to get in the f-ing sea. It's a lot of fun. Try it)
  • flytrapflytrap Banned Posts: 1,659 Senior Member
    Hex, get in the f-ing sea! Hey, it works!
    There are worse things in life than being a born cynic.

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