Latest Domestic Outburst

magallowaymagalloway Senior MemberPosts: 916 Senior Member
About two weeks ago, some old lady T-boned my Highlander in a parking lot, scuffing her bumper and doing $5.5K in damage to the side of my car. In any case, it was scheduled to go into the shop this morning, and we went over to pick up the insurance (hers) supplied rental. The insurance company had specified a SUV, and sure enough, they had one for me--a jet-black Chevy Suburban with 85 miles on it. When we finally got home after dropping the Toyota off at the shop, Herself slammed three doors going into the house, then went into one of her patented ripshit fits about how it looked like we had a hearse parked in the driveway, she couldn't possibly drive it, and how just getting into it hurt her hip. When I told her it was what they gave us and I didn't mind it, she nearly told me to pack. Anyway, Enterprise has been notified that if they get anything smaller that I can get into, for God's sake, please give me a call, so it looks like I'll at least be able to sleep in my own bed tonight--whether she does or not.

Pray for me if you're inclined toward that sort of thing,

Jim

Replies

  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    Menopause must suck.
  • flytrapflytrap Banned Posts: 1,659 Senior Member
    Menopause? That's typical feminine behavior at any age.
    There are worse things in life than being a born cynic.
  • Auntie EmAuntie Em Senior Member Posts: 159 Senior Member
    Ummmmm .... really?
    Lord ... give me patience, and give it to me RIGHT NOW!!!!!
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    Women do kinda suck. #MarchBrownLives
  • magallowaymagalloway Senior Member Posts: 916 Senior Member
    Auntie Em wrote: »
    Ummmmm .... really?

    Dear lady, you live in Kansas, and it's entirely possible that there is or has been at least one full-sized pickup in your driveway. Cindy grouses about the Highlander; when I started talking Toyota 4X4, she assumed RAV4!

    Jim
  • jbillyjbilly Senior Member Posts: 4,868 Senior Member
    Solution...trade her in for a different model. ;)
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 9,895 Senior Member
    Sounds to me like your woman has come unslapped, friend.

    /spits
  • HextallHextall Senior Member Posts: 9,520 Senior Member
    One thought, if you kill her, there's plenty of room to transport that body in the Suburban. Win win.
  • ricinusricinus Senior Member Posts: 6,214 Senior Member
    Course, if she kills you it also works..

    Mike
    My new goal in life is to become an Alter Kaker...
  • magallowaymagalloway Senior Member Posts: 916 Senior Member
    I am now driving a weenie little, 4-banger, noisy, under air-conditioned, cheap-radioed Chevy Equinox. Herself's as happy as one of Buffy's pigs when he comes to visit on a moonlit night.

    Jim
  • breamfisherbreamfisher Senior Member Posts: 4,370 Senior Member
    Sorry you lost your testicles. I hope your wife at least had the common decency to use a general anesthesia when the gelding was done.
  • fishingcomicfishingcomic Senior Member Posts: 22,265 Senior Member
    I am with Bream on this. We have so few places where the male perspective is given priority. The choice of the vehicle you drive is your purview. Does she have a say so in how your garage is organized as well?

    I would tell her if she is going to decide what we drive, then I get to buy the Real Tree bed linens.
    'I've spoken of the Shining City all my political life. …In my mind it was a tall, proud city built on rocks stronger than oceans, windswept, God-blessed, and teeming with people of all kinds living in harmony and peace; a city with free ports that hummed with commerce and creativity. And if there had to be city walls, the walls had doors and the doors were open to anyone with the will and the heart to get here. That's how I saw it, and see it still.'" Ronald Reagan
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 9,895 Senior Member
    You know, sometimes I wish we still were in the 50's when it was ok to slap a woman.
  • jbillyjbilly Senior Member Posts: 4,868 Senior Member
    Buffco wrote: »
    You know, sometimes I wish we still were in the 50's when it was ok to slap a woman.

    Once a year, is that too much to ask for.
  • Shawn C.Shawn C. Senior Member Posts: 5,969 Senior Member
    I'm big on the Once per Year principle for a lot of things. For instance, in air traffic control I have long wished we could have a day where we could say anything we wanted over the radio. Or how about a day of total debauchery?
  • flytrapflytrap Banned Posts: 1,659 Senior Member
    Buffco wrote: »
    You know, sometimes I wish we still were in the 50's when it was ok to slap a woman.

    Uh-oh, you mean it's not now? Could be trouble in Dragon-Land...
    There are worse things in life than being a born cynic.
  • George KGeorge K Super Moderator Posts: 9,154 Senior Member
    Try slipping a mix of Prozac and Buspar into her orange juice.
    Keep your stinkin' government hands off my Medicare.
  • Shawn C.Shawn C. Senior Member Posts: 5,969 Senior Member
    We could dub it "Ray Rice Day."

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file
Magazine Cover

GET THE MAGAZINE Subscribe & Save

Temporary Price Reduction.

SUBSCRIBE NOW

Give a Gift   |   Subscriber Services

PREVIEW THIS MONTH'S ISSUE

GET THE NEWSLETTER Join the List and Never Miss a Thing.

Get the top Fly Fisherman stories delivered right to your inbox.