Southern Charm

Buffy,

You ever see this reality show, Southern Charm?

I thought the south was filled with tough, pick-up driving, redneck farm studs straight out of a Tyler Farr song.

Turns out, you're all nothing but a bunch of metrosexuals.
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Replies

  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 10,586 Senior Member
    "Reality" TV. That's all that needs to be said.

    I haven't seen the show. But I know the type. The pretty boys that drive jacked up trucks their daddy bought them. And these guys couldn't field dress a mouse.

    Meanwhile, yesterday I had a hog get out of my trailer while I was driving down the dirt road. I found her in a neighbors cow pasture, lassoed her to get her close, then used my snare to top-jaw her. While she was squealing and immobilized, I hobbled her front legs so I could run back to get my truck which was about 500 yards away.

    All the while I had a big horse shoe of Skoal in my lip. So yeah we're not all metrosexuals. A lot of us are country studs.
  • NZ IndicatorNZ Indicator Senior Member Posts: 10,239 Senior Member
    Buffco wrote: »
    Meanwhile, yesterday I had a hog get out of my trailer while I was driving down the dirt road. I found her in a neighbors cow pasture, lassoed her to get her close, then used my snare to top-jaw her. While she was squealing and immobilized, I hobbled her front legs so I could run back to get my truck which was about 500 yards away.

    All the while I had a big horse shoe of Skoal in my lip. So yeah we're not all metrosexuals. A lot of us are country studs.

    You should have had the video camera rolling on your phone to document all of this. That would be reality TV. Unscripted!
  • George KGeorge K Super Moderator Posts: 10,048 Senior Member
    Buffco wrote: »
    "Reality" TV. That's all that needs to be said.

    I haven't seen the show. But I know the type. The pretty boys that drive jacked up trucks their daddy bought them. And these guys couldn't field dress a mouse.

    Meanwhile, yesterday I had a hog get out of my trailer while I was driving down the dirt road. I found her in a neighbors cow pasture, lassoed her to get her close, then used my snare to top-jaw her. While she was squealing and immobilized, I hobbled her front legs so I could run back to get my truck which was about 500 yards away.

    All the while I had a big horse shoe of Skoal in my lip. So yeah we're not all metrosexuals. A lot of us are country studs.

    1. You should not let them into the house - problem solved.

    2. OTOH, "driving down the dirt road" is code, isn't it? 'Fess up. Here in the pelagra-free North we say "up the old dirt road", not down.
    Keep your stinkin' government hands off my Medicare.
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 10,586 Senior Member
    George K wrote: »
    1. You should not let them into the house - problem solved.

    2. OTOH, "driving down the dirt road" is code, isn't it? 'Fess up. Here in the pelagra-free North we say "up the old dirt road", not down.
    Everything here is down. Nobody lives "up" the dirt road. Always down.

    We do go "up" town. That's when you get on the asphalt and head into the city.
  • George KGeorge K Super Moderator Posts: 10,048 Senior Member
    Buffco wrote: »
    Everything here is down. Nobody lives "up" the dirt road. Always down.

    We do go "up" town. That's when you get on the asphalt and head into the city.

    I think you need to google "up the old dirt road".:)
    Keep your stinkin' government hands off my Medicare.
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 10,586 Senior Member
    George K wrote: »
    I think you need to google "up the old dirt road".:)
    Ahh. Now that you say that, I don't even have to look it up.

    I've been known to take a trip or two in that direction.
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 10,586 Senior Member
    Joe K. wrote: »
    You should have had the video camera rolling on your phone to document all of this. That would be reality TV. Unscripted!
    Too much cursing was involved.
  • NZ IndicatorNZ Indicator Senior Member Posts: 10,239 Senior Member
    Nothing that censored bleeps can't handle. ;)
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    Buffco wrote: »
    "Reality" TV. That's all that needs to be said.

    I haven't seen the show. But I know the type. The pretty boys that drive jacked up trucks their daddy bought them. And these guys couldn't field dress a mouse.

    Meanwhile, yesterday I had a hog get out of my trailer while I was driving down the dirt road. I found her in a neighbors cow pasture, lassoed her to get her close, then used my snare to top-jaw her. While she was squealing and immobilized, I hobbled her front legs so I could run back to get my truck which was about 500 yards away.

    All the while I had a big horse shoe of Skoal in my lip. So yeah we're not all metrosexuals. A lot of us are country studs.

    Yeah, yeah, yeah. Southern version of urban legend.
  • seppalaseppala Senior Member Posts: 1,916 Senior Member
    Buffco wrote: »
    "Reality" TV. That's all that needs to be said.

    I haven't seen the show. But I know the type. The pretty boys that drive jacked up trucks their daddy bought them. And these guys couldn't field dress a mouse.

    Meanwhile, yesterday I had a hog get out of my trailer while I was driving down the dirt road. I found her in a neighbors cow pasture, lassoed her to get her close, then used my snare to top-jaw her. While she was squealing and immobilized, I hobbled her front legs so I could run back to get my truck which was about 500 yards away.

    All the while I had a big horse shoe of Skoal in my lip. So yeah we're not all metrosexuals. A lot of us are country studs.

    Next time you could just shut the gate properly.

    Either way works, though.
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    I mowed my pasture last night.
  • HextallHextall Senior Member Posts: 9,520 Senior Member
    I started to rewatch The Wire last night... Season 1, episode 1:

    "These are for you, McNulty.This one over here goes up your narrow ******' Irish **** and this badboy here is in your ****** eye."

    This is a gem:
    McNulty: If Snotboogie always stole the money, why'd you let him play?
    Man On Stoop: Got to. This America, man.
  • NZ IndicatorNZ Indicator Senior Member Posts: 10,239 Senior Member
    sherb wrote: »
    I mowed my pasture last night.

    Was she happy afterwards?

    :D

    Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk 2
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    sherb wrote: »
    I mowed my pasture last night.

    The one leading to the dirt road?
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    Steven wrote: »
    The one leading to the dirt road?

    Quality joke. I appreciate that.
  • seppalaseppala Senior Member Posts: 1,916 Senior Member
    sherb wrote: »
    I mowed my pasture last night.

    I think you might have the whole pasture concept backwards.
  • seppalaseppala Senior Member Posts: 1,916 Senior Member
    Hextall wrote: »
    This is a gem:
    McNulty: If Snotboogie always stole the money, why'd you let him play?
    Man On Stoop: Got to. This America, man.

    Yeah. Classic.
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    seppala wrote: »
    I think you might have the whole pasture concept backwards.

    Its not much of a pasture yet. It would be more accurate to say I mowed down the weeds. Just trying to keep it manageable.
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    That actually wasn't a double entendre? You have to be kidding me.
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    I'm missing something. What am I missing?
  • HextallHextall Senior Member Posts: 9,520 Senior Member
    sherb wrote: »
    I'm missing something. What am I missing?

    Sexy time with the Mrs.
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 10,586 Senior Member
    seppala wrote: »
    Next time you could just shut the gate properly.

    Either way works, though.
    The latch failed.
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 10,586 Senior Member
    sherb wrote: »
    I mowed my pasture last night.
    You and me need to get our manhoods together.
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 10,586 Senior Member
    Steven wrote: »
    Yeah, yeah, yeah. Southern version of urban legend.
    Please come down here. I'll show you genuine hospitality and let you farm a little bit. It'll do you some good.

    Question. I know you can't eat pig, but can you physically touch them?
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    Buffco wrote: »
    Please come down here. I'll show you genuine hospitality and let you farm a little bit. It'll do you some good.


    The last Jew who did manual labor ended up nailed to his own handiwork.
    Buffco wrote: »
    Question. I know you can't eat pig, but can you physically touch them?

    This is actually a really interesting question.

    The answer is yes (so Jews can play football) but not during the three major festival holidays (when everyone would pilgrimage to the Temple in Jerusalem).

    However... according to Talmud "Cursed be the man who raises swine."

    Basically Jews aren't allowed to raise non-kosher animals for human consumption. So I can raise race horses, for example, but not horses for restaurants in Paris. However, pigs are a special case and can't be raised for any reason. The issue isn't that the pig isn't kosher but rather it's seen as emblematic of deception and falsity.
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    sherb wrote: »
    I'm missing something. What am I missing?

    If I were Irwin Horwitz, I'd flunk your ****.
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    No, I really did mow my pasture.

    And then I broke the tractor. Father in law is not happy.
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    I am freaking rolling here.
    Who discusses mowing their pasture with their father in law?
  • HextallHextall Senior Member Posts: 9,520 Senior Member
    Was the mower some kind of unfulfilled dowry?
  • jbillyjbilly Senior Member Posts: 5,334 Senior Member
    sherb wrote: »
    No, I really did mow my pasture.

    And then I broke the tractor. Father in law is not happy.

    What part of your tractor broke...your crankshaft?

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