The Ultimate Background Check

swizzswizz Senior MemberPosts: 2,559 Senior Member
Check everyone.
That's what we need to keep everyone safe.
This would address every domestic threat, not just for guns and irresponsible single Moms with dysfunctional evil kids. As long as we're gonna give up some freedom for safety may as well go whole hog.
Best way to do this is with bar-code tattoos for everyone. Then we will know for sure and be really safe, right?
All of your Trout are belong to me.

Replies

  • swizzswizz Senior Member Posts: 2,559 Senior Member
    California has offered to test this system... we should do it.
    All of your Trout are belong to me.
  • swizzswizz Senior Member Posts: 2,559 Senior Member
    .... wouldn't need to carry an ID or driver's license anymore either, think about it.
    All of your Trout are belong to me.
  • ricinusricinus Senior Member Posts: 6,214 Senior Member
    You need to go fishing/mining, you're thinking too much..

    Mike
    My new goal in life is to become an Alter Kaker...
  • swizzswizz Senior Member Posts: 2,559 Senior Member
    I'm here for Frothy Friday... this merits discussion.
    FROTHYFRIDAY_SURFAMBASSADORHENDO_zps87033595.jpg
    All of your Trout are belong to me.
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    I just finished checking myself

    I'm all good thanks for asking
  • bakerloobakerloo Banned Posts: 980 Senior Member
    I think it's a great idea as long as they scan it before you can vote too...
    "So what is big is not always the Trout nor the Deer but the chance, the being there. And what is full is not necessarily the creel nor the freezer, but the memory."
    Aldo Leopold
  • swizzswizz Senior Member Posts: 2,559 Senior Member
    oh heck ya
    All of your Trout are belong to me.
  • bakerloobakerloo Banned Posts: 980 Senior Member
    monkeydoes wrote: »
    I just finished checking myself

    I'm all good thanks for asking

    Did you stand there and cough?
    "So what is big is not always the Trout nor the Deer but the chance, the being there. And what is full is not necessarily the creel nor the freezer, but the memory."
    Aldo Leopold
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    bakerloo wrote: »
    I think it's a great idea as long as they scan it before you can vote too...

    especially the white people

    they'll totally be on board with that
  • swizzswizz Senior Member Posts: 2,559 Senior Member
    they can barcode tat my Big Pale Nose
    I support
    All of your Trout are belong to me.
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    You mean like we do for everybody flying? Like we do to everybody who works ina daycare facility? Like we do for everybody who works at a youth camp? Like we do for everybody who wants a professional license of every sort? You need to undergo a background check to wield a pair of haircutting scissors in most states, doesn't seem unreasonably to be almost as careful when it comes to firearms.
  • swizzswizz Senior Member Posts: 2,559 Senior Member
    Exactly. Tattoo every arm with a barcode and the process is instantly streamlined 100X. Forget that I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and speak a little German... this could work!
    All of your Trout are belong to me.
  • yataheyyatahey Senior Member Posts: 5,605 Senior Member
    Not to go all serious and stuff on this stupid thread, but peoples backgrounds CHANGE.
    "When the goin gets weird, the weird turn pro." Hunter S. Thompson
  • swizzswizz Senior Member Posts: 2,559 Senior Member
    yatahey wrote: »
    Not to go all serious and stuff on this stupid thread, but peoples backgrounds CHANGE.
    The changed information enters the national database.
    When the barcode is scanned the scanner relays info to/from the database. If the individual's background status has changed it would be added in the database and reflected as such during the scan. Simple... same way grocery stores and retailers change their pricing information, you swine.
    All of your Trout are belong to me.
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    Amazingly, we can be a safer nation without going to stupid lengths like that. Just by imjposing an actual requirement for demonstrated responsbility before giving someone a deadly weapon.

    Yes, swizz, we can do that WITHOUT being like ****, and while avoiding fascism. But apparently, you can't avoid Godwin's Law.
  • swizzswizz Senior Member Posts: 2,559 Senior Member
    Jamespio wrote: »
    Amazingly, we can be a safer nation without going to stupid lengths like that.
    Yup, that's actually my point. Thought I would illustrate the fantasy extremity that some idealists will eventually conclude in a humorous manner.
    All of your Trout are belong to me.
  • swizzswizz Senior Member Posts: 2,559 Senior Member
    Jamespio wrote: »
    But apparently, you can't avoid Godwin's Law.
    Avoid? Hardly.... it was my intention for this thread to be a whimsical fantasy play on Godwin's Law. I thought that was fairly obvious, no?
    All of your Trout are belong to me.
  • swizzswizz Senior Member Posts: 2,559 Senior Member
    Did I just catch a fish? A sucker?
    All of your Trout are belong to me.
  • swizzswizz Senior Member Posts: 2,559 Senior Member
    C'mon... I haven't been Poi'd in a week or two, let's do this thing.
    All of your Trout are belong to me.
  • fishingcomicfishingcomic Senior Member Posts: 23,762 Senior Member
    yatahey wrote: »
    Not to go all serious and stuff on this stupid thread, but peoples backgrounds CHANGE.

    Yes but it is rude of you to mention it.
    'I've spoken of the Shining City all my political life. …In my mind it was a tall, proud city built on rocks stronger than oceans, windswept, God-blessed, and teeming with people of all kinds living in harmony and peace; a city with free ports that hummed with commerce and creativity. And if there had to be city walls, the walls had doors and the doors were open to anyone with the will and the heart to get here. That's how I saw it, and see it still.'" Ronald Reagan
  • swizzswizz Senior Member Posts: 2,559 Senior Member
    Brazil is way ahead of us on this. I'd scan that.
    5596_zps2eef0258.jpg
    All of your Trout are belong to me.
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    your bar code reader isn't big enough
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    Don't be silly

    the moment you say anything about firearms it's just the first step towards slavery

    everyone knows this ... I mean they have been telling us the government is going to enslave us for 40+ years ... pretty soon they'll be right
    Jamespio wrote: »
    You mean like we do for everybody flying? Like we do to everybody who works ina daycare facility? Like we do for everybody who works at a youth camp? Like we do for everybody who wants a professional license of every sort? You need to undergo a background check to wield a pair of haircutting scissors in most states, doesn't seem unreasonably to be almost as careful when it comes to firearms.

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