D*** Punch From Reality

Shawn C.Shawn C. Senior MemberPosts: 7,027 Senior Member

I’m turning 50 this month. Not a big deal, really. I feel absolutely fine about this. I’m not a birthday person at all. I usually go to work; it’s just another day. Sometimes we will go out to dinner the following weekend but we do that all the time anyway. It’s just a number.

So I come home last night and my wife has opened the mail. Here is what’s on top of the pile:


Really? I WAS totally fine with this whole fifty thing!!! Why did they do this?! I’m not a spring chicken but I’m not exactly ready for polyester slacks and a Rascal Scooter. **** you, AARP!!!!!

Replies

  • Shawn C.Shawn C. Senior Member Posts: 7,027 Senior Member

    P.S. Since I’m obviously going to die soon I defiantly opened a bottle of wine. FML...

  • BushartBushart Senior Member Posts: 3,041 Senior Member
  • sherbsherb Senior Member Posts: 4,208 Senior Member

    @Shawn C. said:
    I’m turning 50 this month. Not a big deal, really. I feel absolutely fine about this. I’m not a birthday person at all. I usually go to work; it’s just another day. Sometimes we will go out to dinner the following weekend but we do that all the time anyway. It’s just a number.
    So I come home last night and my wife has opened the mail. Here is what’s on top of the pile:
    https://us.v-cdn.net/6030355/uploads/323/6XED38ONIOMK.jpeg

    Really? I WAS totally fine with this whole fifty thing!!! Why did they do this?! I’m not a spring chicken but I’m not exactly ready for polyester slacks and a Rascal Scooter. **** you, AARP!!!!!

    You can putter around the house in your dotage now.

  • NZ IndicatorNZ Indicator Senior Member Posts: 10,223 Senior Member

    Get off my lawn!!!

  • George KGeorge K Super Moderator Posts: 10,039 Senior Member

    You youngsters just don't get it. ;)

    Keep your stinkin' government hands off my Medicare.
  • CO NativeCO Native Senior Member Posts: 1,581 Senior Member

    @George K said:
    You youngsters just don't get it. ;)

    Exactly!!
    Shawn, get the AARP card and start checking for discounts. Except for Costco travel, you can't beat rental car prices offered through AARP.

    Plus, you're officially a dirty old man now, so you can get away with more (wink, wink).

  • GoldenladleGoldenladle Super Moderator Posts: 3,899 Senior Member

    @CO Native said:

    @George K said:
    You youngsters just don't get it. ;)

    Exactly!!
    Shawn, get the AARP card and start checking for discounts. Except for Costco travel, you can't beat rental car prices offered through AARP.

    Plus, you're officially a dirty old man now, so you can get away with more (wink, wink).

    This ^^^

    I'm not a birthday person either and I have a big one coming in just a few days.

    Moved to Montana, gonna be a dental floss tycoon.

  • NZ IndicatorNZ Indicator Senior Member Posts: 10,223 Senior Member
  • BushartBushart Senior Member Posts: 3,041 Senior Member

    Now when you glare at 40 year old women----yar a dirty old man

    Upside now your a senior citizen you'll likely get discounts on Viagra and Corn Pads

    PARTY ON!!

  • StevenSteven Senior Member Posts: 3,599 Senior Member

    The first day I tried jiu jitsu, I felt beat to sh-t.

    Then my loving wife announced that my AARP card had arrived. Asked if maybe I could get a discount.

  • FishTXFishTX Super Moderator Posts: 8,074 Senior Member

    Happy half a d**n century, birthday.

    "We have to find someone who can not only fly this plane, but who didn't have fish for dinner."

    Crooow:This music would work better with women in bikinis shaking all over the place. I guess that's true of any music really.
  • FishTXFishTX Super Moderator Posts: 8,074 Senior Member

    I'll turn 58 this year and I haven't joined AARP. Feels like giving in to the Grim Reaper. [email protected] that.

    "We have to find someone who can not only fly this plane, but who didn't have fish for dinner."

    Crooow:This music would work better with women in bikinis shaking all over the place. I guess that's true of any music really.
  • creekyguycreekyguy Posts: 361 Senior Member

    Any issues when you take a pee? Don't worry, in a few years you can answer yes!!

  • bmmikebmmike Posts: 541 Senior Member

    Fall behind walking up Slough, old man, and I am leaving you for dead.

  • BushartBushart Senior Member Posts: 3,041 Senior Member
  • jbillyjbilly Senior Member Posts: 5,333 Senior Member

    Happy birthday Matlock!!!!

    Dude that’s ancient to get your AARP card. I kid you not after my kidney transplant. I was 28, they sent me one. I almost needed a new heart too.

    Enjoy your day and bedtime by 8

  • Shawn C.Shawn C. Senior Member Posts: 7,027 Senior Member

    @CO Native said:

    Exactly!!
    Shawn, get the AARP card and start checking for discounts. Except for Costco travel, you can't beat rental car prices offered through AARP.

    So I get a good deal on a late model, light blue Camry that has the left turn signal stuck in the on position? Oh, happy day. ;)

    But seriously, for $16 a year I'm going to join as there are lots of good discounts. Plus the card, as mentioned, is a license to perv.

  • George KGeorge K Super Moderator Posts: 10,039 Senior Member

    I don't belong to AARP either, I was just saying that 50 is young these days. Anyway, hotels give good "senior" rates starting at age 50.

    Happy birthday!

    Keep your stinkin' government hands off my Medicare.
  • Shawn C.Shawn C. Senior Member Posts: 7,027 Senior Member

    Thanks for the birthday wishes, guys! I'd thank you by name but I think the dementia is starting to set in.
    Seriously, I WAS totally ok with this.

  • fishingcomicfishingcomic Senior Member Posts: 24,385 Senior Member

    Oh this was about your birthday? I thought this was about your upcoming colonoscopy.

    'I've spoken of the Shining City all my political life. …In my mind it was a tall, proud city built on rocks stronger than oceans, windswept, God-blessed, and teeming with people of all kinds living in harmony and peace; a city with free ports that hummed with commerce and creativity. And if there had to be city walls, the walls had doors and the doors were open to anyone with the will and the heart to get here. That's how I saw it, and see it still.'" Ronald Reagan
  • Shawn C.Shawn C. Senior Member Posts: 7,027 Senior Member

    @fishingcomic said:
    Oh this was about your birthday? I thought this was about your upcoming colonoscopy.

    If they intend on using anything from that ACE Hardware ad pictured above, I ain't getting it done.

    But yeah... thanks for the reminder of that. This just keeps getting worse.

  • breamfisherbreamfisher Senior Member Posts: 4,811 Senior Member

    When you get the colonoscopy, make sure the doc writes in his report he DIDN'T find your head up there.

  • CO NativeCO Native Senior Member Posts: 1,581 Senior Member
    edited April 8 #24

    You don't need a colonoscopy, from reading your posts, you, like the rest of us are a perfect a s s -hole - haha.

  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 10,586 Senior Member

    Are you into shopping for comfortable slacks? I bet you wear velcro sneakers.

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