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What You Do If You Were Not Born With A Silver Spoon In Your Mouth

George KGeorge K Super ModeratorPosts: 11,649 Senior Member
You overcompensate by eating silver jewelry.


Some of the tastier excerpts:

...To the twice-divorced Donald, Melania is terrific. He’s never heard her fart or make doodie, as he once told Howard Stern. (Melania has said the key to the success of her marriage is separate bathrooms.) He can trust her to take her birth control every day, he boasted to Stern; she’s just amazing that way. She has the perfect proportions—five feet eleven, 125 pounds—and great boobs, which is no trivial matter. Stern once asked Trump what he would do if Melania were in a terrible car accident, God forbid, and lost the use of her left arm, developed an oozing red splotch near her eye, and mangled her left foot. Would Donald stay with her?

“How do the breasts look?” Trump asked.

“The breasts are okay,” Stern replied. Then, yeah, of course Trump stays. “Because that’s important.” ...

...Vladimira Tomšič, who went to the same school as Melania and is friendly with her parents, tells me that her upbringing helps explain her marriage. “The secret of why he’s with her,” she explains, “is her traditional values and the importance of family to her.” In other words, that bearskin-rug photo is a red herring: Melania is the ideal wife for the conservative base. She is, in fact, positively biblical—Trump’s perfect “help meet,” his “suitable helper,” as the Bible’s description of Eve would have it. Melania Trump is as tailored to The Donald as if a divine plastic surgeon had sculpted her out of his rib...

The GOP big tent now is the size of a pup tent, its floor splattered with guano.

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