Southern Charm

2

Replies

  • seppalaseppala Senior Member Posts: 1,916 Senior Member
    sherb wrote: »

    And then I broke the tractor.

    Don't ever say your car is broke.

    [/Drive-By Truckers]
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 10,239 Senior Member
    Steven wrote: »
    The last Jew who did manual labor ended up nailed to his own handiwork.

    Ouch.
    Steven wrote: »

    However... according to Talmud "Cursed be the man who raises swine."

    Man I'm screwed.

    Well we'll just feed the cows then. You have any problem driving a tractor or hauling hay? It's kosher hay.
  • fishingcomicfishingcomic Senior Member Posts: 23,575 Senior Member
    Steven wrote: »
    The last Jew who did manual labor ended up nailed to his own handiwork.

    And that is why you have been hiring Italians for it ever since.
    'I've spoken of the Shining City all my political life. …In my mind it was a tall, proud city built on rocks stronger than oceans, windswept, God-blessed, and teeming with people of all kinds living in harmony and peace; a city with free ports that hummed with commerce and creativity. And if there had to be city walls, the walls had doors and the doors were open to anyone with the will and the heart to get here. That's how I saw it, and see it still.'" Ronald Reagan
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    Buffco wrote: »
    Ouch.



    Man I'm screwed.

    Well we'll just feed the cows then. You have any problem driving a tractor or hauling hay? It's kosher hay.

    Is it a Deere?
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 10,239 Senior Member
    We have two Deere's and one Massey Ferguson.
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    Put me down for the Deere.
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 10,239 Senior Member
    Alright. After we feed up, we've got new pasture fence to stretch. Can you hold up an 8 lb sledgehammer to drive metal posts?

    I really, really want to get a picture of you washing out my hog pen, though.
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    I just want to drive the tractor all over the place, wear overalls and smoke Marlboros.
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 10,239 Senior Member
    Steven wrote: »
    I just want to drive the tractor all over the place, wear overalls and smoke Marlboros.

    We can do that. I don't have Marlboros though but will offer you a pinch of Skoal.
  • HextallHextall Senior Member Posts: 9,520 Senior Member
    Can I come to your modern day Hee Haw party?
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 10,239 Senior Member
    Hextall wrote: »
    Can I come to your modern day Hee Haw party?

    Sure. I'm getting a bunch of registered Berkshire piglets tomorrow. How good are you at castrating hogs?
  • HextallHextall Senior Member Posts: 9,520 Senior Member
    Buffco wrote: »
    How good are you at castrating hogs?

    I'm excellent at it because I have very strong jaw muscles.
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 10,239 Senior Member
    We use a scalpel now.
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    Overalls without a shirt.
    Unlike Sherb, I won't mow my pasture
  • George KGeorge K Super Moderator Posts: 9,807 Senior Member
    Hextall wrote: »
    I'm excellent at it because I have very strong jaw muscles.

    Have you been reading the Bible, or perhaps Errol Flynn's autobiography? He claimed to have done it with sheep, though.
    Keep your stinkin' government hands off my Medicare.
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    Buffco wrote: »
    Sure. I'm getting a bunch of registered Berkshire piglets tomorrow. How good are you at castrating hogs?

    Wait. Did he invite us to the O's game?
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 10,239 Senior Member
    George K wrote: »
    Have you been reading the Bible, or perhaps Errol Flynn's autobiography? He claimed to have done it with sheep, though.

    There are some farmers out west still doing it with lambs. Saw it on Mike Rowe's dirty jobs.
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 10,239 Senior Member
    Steven wrote: »
    Wait. Did he invite us to the O's game?

    He most certainly did not.

    Hextall, never mind. You can't come.
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    Buffco wrote: »
    There are some farmers out west still doing it with lambs. Saw it on Mike Rowe's dirty jobs.

    What the freak? That's worse than Metzitzah B'peh.
  • flytrapflytrap Banned Posts: 1,659 Senior Member
    Buffco wrote: »
    "Reality" TV. That's all that needs to be said.

    A lot of us are country studs.

    Do you know any personally, Just askin'.
    There are worse things in life than being a born cynic.
  • ricinusricinus Senior Member Posts: 6,214 Senior Member
    My new goal in life is to become an Alter Kaker...
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 10,239 Senior Member
    That is what is wrong with country music all encompassed in one song.

    Country needs it's Nirvana moment. These posers in their skinny jeans ain't never plowed a field unless it was for a video shoot. F*** you Blake Shelton. Besides being married to my future wife....

    Here's the thing. If you listen to a country song and it's all about beef and potatoes, tractors, 4wd, dirt roads and beer? Yeah. They ain't country.

    Think about the most devout person you know. Or the most intelligent person you know. Do they have to tell you they are intelligent? Or that they attend church? No. You just know.

    Same here. If you have to make music telling me how country you are, you ain't country.

    Check out Jamie Johnson and Sturgill Simpson. They are the Kurt Cobain to today's hair band country music.
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    Give me one song from each to download.
  • jbillyjbilly Senior Member Posts: 5,181 Senior Member
    Buffco wrote: »
    F*** you Blake Shelton. Besides being married to my future wife....

    Don't you dare talk about Mrs Jbilly like that ever again or I will cut your throat and bleed you out like a hog.
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 10,239 Senior Member
    jbilly wrote: »
    Don't you dare talk about Mrs Jbilly like that ever again or I will cut your throat and bleed you out like a hog.

    I'll throw you on the ground, step on your neck and cut your balls off. Do it all the time. You'll be holding them before you know what happened to you.
  • seppalaseppala Senior Member Posts: 1,916 Senior Member
    Jamey Johnson lost me the moment he compared himself to Merle Haggard and George Jones.
  • jbillyjbilly Senior Member Posts: 5,181 Senior Member
    Buffco wrote: »
    I'll throw you on the ground, step on your neck and cut your balls off. Do it all the time. You'll be holding them before you know what happened to you.

    How about you write a song about it fancy man.
  • seppalaseppala Senior Member Posts: 1,916 Senior Member
    Buffco wrote: »
    I'll throw you on the ground, step on your neck and cut your balls off. Do it all the time. You'll be holding them before you know what happened to you.

    The courtship rituals of southern **** Sapiens are fascinating.
  • HextallHextall Senior Member Posts: 9,520 Senior Member
    Buffco wrote: »
    I'll throw you on the ground, step on your neck and cut your balls off. Do it all the time. You'll be holding them before you know what happened to you.

    Welcome to the Baltimore Police Department, here's your O's hat.
  • JulietJuliet Posts: 0
    seppala wrote: »
    The courtship rituals of southern **** Sapiens is fascinating.

    Priceless.

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file
Magazine Cover

GET THE MAGAZINE Subscribe & Save

Temporary Price Reduction.

SUBSCRIBE NOW

Give a Gift   |   Subscriber Services

PREVIEW THIS MONTH'S ISSUE

GET THE NEWSLETTER Join the List and Never Miss a Thing.

Get the top Fly Fisherman stories delivered right to your inbox.