Hey Steven....

EchoTestEchoTest Posts: 338 Senior Member

My National Geograpic Genome project DNA analysis kit results are in....apparently just a little ways back I'm Jewish....and all the way back I'm an orange homonid swinging in the trees in the rift valley....

And here I thought I was half polynesian all along! Just goes to show old Jack Burton was right (somebody please ask me 'Who?' so I can emphatically and a little bit louder say 'JACK BURTON!).....anyway old Jack Burton always said...'You never can tell!'

That and while telling stories over the CB radio while driving down the road on dark and stormy nights he was fond of signing off by saying.....'When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a ...Have I paid my dues? You're damned right I paid my dues, the check is in the mail!'

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  • EchoTestEchoTest Posts: 338 Senior Member

    And now we know why I'm so fond of beet borscht with potatoes, dill and smetana......and sandwiches made with corned beef, chopped liver, and cole slaw on rye!

    Its in my DNA!

  • StevenSteven Senior Member Posts: 1,912 Senior Member

    I guess that explains that.

    My wife suggested I do one of those tests, but I didn't see the point. I figure I'm pretty much solid Jew with maybe a Cossack thrown in.

  • sherbsherb Senior Member Posts: 1,622 Senior Member

    Hinge used to say he was part conquistador, part screaming Aztec Maiden.

  • EchoTestEchoTest Posts: 338 Senior Member

    They said there was a whole lot of North Western European (English, Irish, Scott, Welsh), German, Russian, Mediterranean, North East African, South East Asian, Australian, Pacific Islander, and Jewish.

    Of course being National Geographic they're doing it as a mapping of furry homonid movement out of the Rift valley, across the African savanna where we learned to stand fully upright on our rear legs to see predators coming, and then fanning out across the globe. So they reference back a lot to where your peeps were in previous periods of time like 5k, 50k, 100k, 500k years ago.

    They said I was have French in me...well...that's a pleasant surprise since I sooooo love French food and culture...but it shouldn't have been either, I mean really.....the only thing that makes people 'different' today is somebody come along and decided to call themselves names and draw ink lines on pictures of the world claiming places as theirs......not too long ago Mediterraneans, Germans, and French were all the same people (under Charlemagne) and except for head movies really still are....well...except for that funny head movie thing where the majority of people living within enclosed ink lines usually subscribe to the head movie they are a unique and separate people and the other head movie where you aren't supposed to breed with people outside of your people.....but if we hadn't invented cars and planes and trains and ships that would pretty much be the entire case anyway...and pretty much is with people who never leave the area of their ancestors now as well.....but imagine all of western and central Europe as having one ink line around it and pretty much it would be the accepted movie that we were all the same people when it was convenient for us to be...and then we'd use other things to separate ourselves into something unique when that's what we wanted....religion, culture, sexual preferences, lifestyle choices such as types, makes, and models of vehicles we drive; music we like; clothes we wear; how we recreate and hobbies we pursue, which sports teams we claim as ours.....oh and let's not forget that Nations are often divided into regions and smaller areas surrounded by ink lines such as states which are divided into counties and also have cities, towns, and rural areas in them too but nations also belong to regions and continents as well.....these are the things that makes us the people we are...well...when we started subscribing to head movies we're seperated by all kinds of things....because in the end we're also ALL RIDERS OF THE ROCK! I doubt you'd see any visitors to this planet looking at us and saying 'oh those are French humans and those are Indian humans and...' if you know what I mean....its all mental constructs....something humans just do.......apparently...

  • EchoTestEchoTest Posts: 338 Senior Member

    Of course visitors to this planet wouldn't see ink lines from space or subscribe to our head movies so if they had any reason to separate us out as distinctively separate people it would be a reason of their own....like....probably how much work they can get out of some slaves versus others....or how different we taste.....kinda like we do with animals....like horses....and pigs....in which case those of us in the United States might luck out because we don't work that hard and we eat really bad stuff that makes us taste awful.....so they might leave us alone...on the other hand...we might be the first they wipe out just to clear the land for other uses....no reason feeding something if you can't get nothing you want out of it....right? We'd 'Americans' be like....pests....yeah....pests....like roaches...or locusts....yeah probably like locusts...they'd probably just spray the land with pesticide and get rid of us....

  • StevenSteven Senior Member Posts: 1,912 Senior Member

    @sherb said:
    Hinge used to say he was part conquistador, part screaming Aztec Maiden.

    The Hinge was always good for a laugh.

  • EchoTestEchoTest Posts: 338 Senior Member

    But wouldn't it be awesome if the aliens ate us (people in the United States) and they got like alien diabetes, alien arteriosclerosis, alien coronary artery disease, alien congestive heart failure, alien high blood pressure, alien strokes.......I mean...Americans are the fattest people on the planet....we have the highest amount of bad cholesterol...and we're just chock full of sodium.....we'd probably kill an alien

  • EchoTestEchoTest Posts: 338 Senior Member

    Hinge had a very unique head movie...one of a kind!

  • EchoTestEchoTest Posts: 338 Senior Member

    Hey...wouldn't it be funny if aliens classified people using a system similar to the USDA quality grades of meat....factors that affect palatability....tenderness, juiciness, and flavor of human meat...factors such as carcass maturity, firmness, texture, color of lean, amount of distribution of marbling in the lean...stuff like that...

    I imagine most 'Americans' would be graded as only being fit as food for their pets!

    Hey..what kinds of things do you imagine aliens might have as pets?

  • EchoTestEchoTest Posts: 338 Senior Member

    Now I'm wondering what's going to eat me when the aliens come? The aliens, or one of their pets....or maybe they'd feed me to something else they prefer better.....sharks, cray fish, eagles, big cats, polar bears....

    That's it....that's what I want to be eaten by...I want to be eaten by a polar bear! That would be awesome!

  • fishingcomicfishingcomic Senior Member Posts: 21,201 Senior Member

    @Steven said:
    I guess that explains that.

    My wife suggested I do one of those tests, but I didn't see the point. I figure I'm pretty much solid Jew with maybe a Cossack thrown in.

    DNA is not culture.

    'I've spoken of the Shining City all my political life. …In my mind it was a tall, proud city built on rocks stronger than oceans, windswept, God-blessed, and teeming with people of all kinds living in harmony and peace; a city with free ports that hummed with commerce and creativity. And if there had to be city walls, the walls had doors and the doors were open to anyone with the will and the heart to get here. That's how I saw it, and see it still.'" Ronald Reagan
  • EchoTestEchoTest Posts: 338 Senior Member

    @fishingcomic said:
    DNA is not culture.

    But apparently along with understanding the movements of people across the face of this rock over time, DNA can also be used to fairly reliably indicate where your ancestors were at a given time, which then can be used to indicate things such as the most likely 'nationallity', 'ethnicity', and 'culture' of your ancestors.

    I mean I know my ancestors were 'Hawaiians'.....because the British were so totally into discovering then cataloging things I know who all my Hawaiian ancestors were right back to 1799.....but just knowing I have Hawaiians in my ancestory.......its perfectly rational and reasonable to infer they were a sea going people and that worshiped Ku, Kane, Lolo, and Kanaloa, they ran around in grass skirts, had an oral versus written history, etc ad infinitum....you know...

    Its a big picture thing. There's lots of things involved in it. Its complicated!

  • EchoTestEchoTest Posts: 338 Senior Member

    What I meant was...knowing I had Hawaiians in my ancestory by my DNA....I can infer the cultural aspects of MY ANCESTORS just by what is known of the cultural aspects of Hawaiians through time....such as that unless they were athiests....they probably worshiped Ku, Kane, Lolo, and Kanaloa...

    And if anybody knows that one of the names I'd used here for my avatar was one of the Hawaiian gods...its not that I thought of myself as a g0d...its that he was known as a trickster.....I thought people would infer that I was just 'tricking' around when I was here before...but I was mistaken...some people took it seriously...understandably...should have known that....how can I expect anybody to know about the g0ds of my ancestors? What a maroon!

  • EchoTestEchoTest Posts: 338 Senior Member

    And additionally (I just remembered)....apparently 'Jewish' is lso used as a marker for peoples who were in a speciic region at a specific time who may have additionally had ancestors who followed/racticed Judaism even though they did not....but they most assuredly practiced many of the cultural aspects of people who follow/practice Judaism....apparently there are lots of people who today who were raise in predominantly Jewish societies or groups or had Jewis ancestors who consider themselves Jewish and follow Jewish cultural practices without actually following or practising Judaism as their faith.....and sometimes 'Jewish' is used as a 'marker' that includes these people as well....

    Point being...depending on what and how much we know of a peolple in a pace at a specific time and how able we are to pinpoint the location of ancestors at a specific time by DNA.....we can often infer a whole lot about our anestors by dna...including cultural aspects.....

    I'm an ex-big systems IT guy....I imagine you'd have to have one huge DNA database compiling lot of data discovered by hudrends of thousands of people over the period of known recorded history......its probably bigger than the computers most of us have...that' for sure!

  • creekyguycreekyguy Posts: 41 Member
    edited April 11 #16

    @EchoTest said:

    And here I thought I was half polynesian all along!

    By the Book of Mormon, that makes you a "LostTribian" I believe!

  • creekyguycreekyguy Posts: 41 Member
    edited April 11 #17

    You know, Kan...erh, EchoT, ..if you were fully Jewish you never would have wasted your money on one of those bogus Genetic tests!! >:)

  • EchoTestEchoTest Posts: 338 Senior Member

    Okay..here's a perfect example......since I have always liked tattoos and prefer tatoos that are culturally correct....I have several books on tattoos of the original explorers and inhabitants of the islands of the South Pacific....including one about all of them, and thee about specific places such as the Marquesas, Samoa, and the Hawaian islands. All of them also heavily reference studies done by British subjects in service to King William IV (1765 to 1892)...and apparently it was a big thing as Britons were running around the world trying to discover things they could publish so their name would last throughout history.....so by DNA alone....I know....that as far back as the late 1700s Hawiians were tattooed with their own unique styles and themses of tattoos.....I even have seen/possess/know of hundreds of pencil, ink, and paint illustrations from the studies of tattoos of the original peoples of the south pacific all the way back to when they were first encountered by other peoples....you'd be surprised how extensively these people were cataloged....everything...and I mean everything...was extensively studied and recorded right off the bat....the most thorough works became the most widely accepted reference points and ensured the perpetually enduring fame of their authors....and we're talking about the British of course...they were exploring to find peopls and places they could exploit..and no amount of information was too much....

    SO....if all I knew was that I had Hawaiian ancestors by my DNA.....I know cultural aspects of those ancestors...including they were tattooed, and what kinds of tattoos they had in this case....

    Not to blow my horn...I'm not famous and if anything I'm/would prefer to be infamous.....its nothing....somebody was talking about tattoos on the forum once, several people started taking trash about people that had tattoos, I mentioned that some people's ancestral culture including tattooing for pragmatic and or other reasons than being 'trash'.....such as theYakuza and Japanese people in general who consider it art or an indicator of rank or rites of passage, and peoples of the Southern Pacific Islands who generally for the same reasons and more....such as masks meant to intimidate enemies.....or indicate tribes or clans you belong too.....

    I mentioned mine were tattoos were in tattoos in a sleeve that and like my polynesian ancestors wore, some my own design influenced by those tattoos, others were symbols from other peoples on the southern pacific rim....and some were the same style as tattoos of Hawaiians in the past....like the logo of the fly used by Fly Fisherman magazine....and I have two of them facing into a ying yang between them in the middle of my sleeve.....

    Apparently someone named Ross Purnell saw or heard about it....I don't remember what he did...editor...in charge of the website.....he replied that he'd like to see them....I sent him a picture...he called me up and asked me if I minded if the picture got put in the mag and a few questions...and there it was....

    I don't remember the issue....the date....the year...nor do I have one...but they were there...just my arm....in my Bare Sharkskin Extremes....with my Daimondback IM6 three piece 6wt and STH cassette reel.....on the Arkansas west of Canon City.....

    I've always been original and/or eclectic.....I shun certain culturally mandated 'uniforms'.....I was in Colorado....I wasn't going to throw no Sage or Gloomis in no Sage waders with no cowboy shirt and bandana and straw cowboy hat on my head....and I dammed sure wouldn't have gotten a lab just so I could name him Orvis or Sage.....

    Nope...I had German SV registered German Shepherds...daughters of two times World Sieger Rikkor Von Bad Boll and a momma from another World Sieger champ line....because that's how the Germans do it....for totally pragmatic reasons....perpetuate only the best of the best....and according to thier requirements...gave them names deonoting the numerical sequence of the Haus's litter that they came from....second litter...B names...Brixa and Brianna von Orumhaus....

  • EchoTestEchoTest Posts: 338 Senior Member

    ****....it was a 5wt....I wouldn't have been throwing a 6 on the Arkansas west of Canon City....

  • EchoTestEchoTest Posts: 338 Senior Member

    Now that I'm remembering the weather and other things...I'm thinking it was an issue in Spring of '99.....

  • Shawn C.Shawn C. Senior Member Posts: 5,298 Senior Member
    edited April 11 #21

    @EchoTest said:
    Hey...wouldn't it be funny if aliens classified people using a system similar to the USDA quality grades of meat....factors that affect palatability....tenderness, juiciness, and flavor of human meat...factors such as carcass maturity, firmness, texture, color of lean, amount of distribution of marbling in the lean...stuff like that...

    Fat is flavor. USA = USDA Choice at least.

    Hey..what kinds of things do you imagine aliens might have as pets?

    I've never considered that. My job requires random drug testing.

  • EchoTestEchoTest Posts: 338 Senior Member

    @Shawn C. said:

    @EchoTest said:
    Hey...wouldn't it be funny if aliens classified people using a system similar to the USDA quality grades of meat....factors that affect palatability....tenderness, juiciness, and flavor of human meat...factors such as carcass maturity, firmness, texture, color of lean, amount of distribution of marbling in the lean...stuff like that...

    Fat is flavor. USA = USDA Choice at least.

    Hey..what kinds of things do you imagine aliens might have as pets?

    I've never considered that. My job requires random drug testing.

    Go to a Mexican mercado and get some homeopathic remedies such as golden seal....diuretics....eat a big bag of salty potato chips and a chocolate frosted bundt cake before your next medical diagnostic labs and get on some diuretics meant to shed glucose and sodium...make teas with herbs and drugs that help you shed everything off in your urine....stay lean....and eat a lot of niacin....your ears and body may flush and wiggle and tingle and get really hot but that just means things are going according to plan...

    Start an account on an internet buying site where you can get used concert tickets for pennies on the dollar so you can prove that due to your G0d given American right to watch bands perform the music you love ended up putting you sitting next to drug using liberal hippies where you inhaled secondary smoke that threw off your urinalysis tests.....

    Make sure to buy lots of used tickets for Taylor Swift concerts....nobody that attends Taylor Swift concerts uses drugs...or so most the people in charge deny since most their daughters just love Taylor Swift and scream and cry and throw sit down fits until their parents by them thousand dollar tickets so their little girls and a chaperone can attend the concerts and whip out the Visa card to buy the outfits she wears for each and every song......

    Its all about reasonable doubt.....trust me...I was pre-med....and then pre-law.....before bailing out for an MBA in Strategic Management...and then graduating with honors in 2010 and dropping off the planet......

    I've been waiting for somebody to give me a litigable case so I can cash out and build an off the grid hut in the Hawaiian rain forest where I can grow dope and develop a new religion or ideological philosophy to fund my retirement.....

  • StevenSteven Senior Member Posts: 1,912 Senior Member
    edited April 12 #23

    @fishingcomic said:
    DNA is not culture.

    @EchoTest said:
    But apparently along with understanding the movements of people across the face of this rock over time, DNA can also be used to fairly reliably indicate where your ancestors were at a given time, which then can be used to indicate things such as the most likely 'nationallity', 'ethnicity', and 'culture' of your ancestors.

    Kanaloa got this right. After 4,000 years of mostly staying separate from outside cultures, there are definitely gene markers that indicate it's highly likely that someone had Jewish ancestors.

  • George KGeorge K Super Moderator Posts: 8,355 Senior Member

    @Steven said:

    @fishingcomic said:
    DNA is not culture.

    @EchoTest said:
    But apparently along with understanding the movements of people across the face of this rock over time, DNA can also be used to fairly reliably indicate where your ancestors were at a given time, which then can be used to indicate things such as the most likely 'nationallity', 'ethnicity', and 'culture' of your ancestors.

    Kanaloa got this right. After 4,000 years of mostly staying separate from outside cultures, there are definitely gene markers that indicate it's highly likely that someone had Jewish ancestors.

    I haven't the time to read through everything above, so it may have been noted already that not all DNA is acquired voluntarily. **** is a very old way of degrading and disheartening one's enemies. I'm not talking specifically about any one group here.

    Keep your stinkin' government hands off my Medicare.
  • George KGeorge K Super Moderator Posts: 8,355 Senior Member

    **** = R ape. Damned new software.

    Keep your stinkin' government hands off my Medicare.
  • StevenSteven Senior Member Posts: 1,912 Senior Member

    Reason why "Jewishness" is traced maternally.

  • fishingcomicfishingcomic Senior Member Posts: 21,201 Senior Member

    My point is that how you were raised and your family traditions are more important. If you found out that you were actually 90% Greek, it would not change who you are.

    'I've spoken of the Shining City all my political life. …In my mind it was a tall, proud city built on rocks stronger than oceans, windswept, God-blessed, and teeming with people of all kinds living in harmony and peace; a city with free ports that hummed with commerce and creativity. And if there had to be city walls, the walls had doors and the doors were open to anyone with the will and the heart to get here. That's how I saw it, and see it still.'" Ronald Reagan
  • StevenSteven Senior Member Posts: 1,912 Senior Member

    It would mean I wouldn't be lactose intolerant anymore.

    Reminds me of the Minnesota farmer who found out his land was actually in Wisconsin.

    "Thank G-d, no more effing Minnesota winters!"

  • EchoTestEchoTest Posts: 338 Senior Member

    @fishingcomic said:
    My point is that how you were raised and your family traditions are more important. If you found out that you were actually 90% Greek, it would not change who you are.

    Being told I was all the things I am absolutely changed who I am! I've gone back researched, and taken up cultural practices from most of my ancestors just because they were my ancestors. I've always thought of myself differently than I did before I knew. Knowing has even changed my views about a lot of things, sometimes completely. For instance, try finding out that your maternal grandmother had something against your father because he was obviously not white, and then while sitting on the back porch with your Filipino-Hawaiian-North Western European cousin from your paternal aunt he says '**** Haoles...' in conversation (A haole is a word used for white people in general, sometimes as a slur).....and you say 'But I'm white' and you're emphatically told 'NO YOU'RE NOT'.....well...yes....I have a lot of white in me....and he had the same amount too....finding out you're peeps all came from the Rift Valley too....from one mitochondrial eve.....well....how can a person be racists or ethni...eth....not like anybody because they are....awwwww....you know what I'm getting at.....we're all one peoples.....from space we're all the same....that's what an alien visitor would think.....and if they had any reason to separate us out into distinctually different groups...it would be some characteristic of their own....like I said....which ones worked the hardest...which ones tasted the best....

    I'm putting my money on Tibetan monks....all those vegetables, fruits, grains, yak butter and honey....I bet when they're younger their the veal of humans.....you are what you eat! I bet Americans taste like cr@p!

  • EchoTestEchoTest Posts: 338 Senior Member

    Ask me why I tried Scottish single malts and love them so much....go on...ask me! Okay I'll tell you....because I'm Scottish and if its not Scottish its cr@p!

    Ask me why I tried and love plowman's lunches, shepherds pie, scones and clotted cream, bangers and mash, Irish music, English-Irish-Scott ales and whiskies, etc...

    Ask me why I have over 100 Hawaiian shirts in my closet.....and have....well....never mind...according to my mom since the day I was born I've hated shoes and would fuss and cry till somebody took them off until I was old enough to do it myself....and I've always been like that....20 degrees outside at 2 AM in the morning at the newspaper drop in the underground parking area at the mall....and I'm standing there rolling newspapers in a Viet Nam era Army field coat over a skatebord tee and surf shorts with no shoes on....I was in my early 30s at the time...

    Most of my formative years were spent just outside an Air Base that was the first jet school for most their pilots in central Texas. I lived in Hawaii for three years starting from a few weeks after I was born but I don't remember it and when I went back after graduating from my first set of Navy schools to ride a ship for two years before the rest my dad called his sister so they could pick me up at the airport and make introductions....I knew nothing about any of them....other than remembering one day we walked down the street to pickup my dad's brother at a Pearl Harbor boat stop (he was Navy wearing cracker jacks) and my 'grandfather' had more gold than the pope and was a rtired corp of engineers colonel....I'd even met him once and still didn't know jack nothing....only reason I knew things about my maternal side was because we'd spent a year there my 6th grade year while my dad did his tour in Nam (he was 30 year E8 Airforce)....believe me...finding out they were wild hillbillies and part of the Scotch-Irish kicked out of or fleeing from things back home...had a lot to do with my wild, rebellious ways....but my wild alcoholic bootlegging dancing on tabletops to records played on DC phonographs in cars at the lake my maternal grandfather was married to another woman grannie? She gave my mom to her parents so she wouldn't be in the way....and they impressed my mom into hard labor working the land and planting-tending-harvesting crops and other bounties off the land to process and wrap or can to sell on the side of the road out in front of the house....she left all that behind when she turned 17 and could enlist in the Air Force and get as far away as possible...

    DNA doesn't have any influence on who you are? It depended on how you were raised and family traditions? Hmmmm.....interesting!

  • EchoTestEchoTest Posts: 338 Senior Member

    Here's the other thing....different cultures...different groups....have different things they find attractive or valuable and thus perpetuate in their breeding practices....and this includes lots and lots of things...its actually part of the reasons why some groups are mostly some things more than other groups are....they found those things attractive or desirable (including in pragmatic or intangible qualitative ways) ...may have thought of other things as unattractive or undesirable...and like a **** breeding program looked for those things in their mates...badda bing badda boom....those things were perpetuated....physical things for sure...eye color, hair color, size, body type, etc.....but other things too.....kinda like how some breeds of dogs ended up always trying to herd things even though they've never been trained for it...herding kids...farm animals...a family of ducks down at the pond....like my German blooded GSDs.....dogs with super intense and psychotically obsessive prey drive....like my wife's Whippets.....he's a killer...

    Evolutionary adaptations to physical environment over time...characteristics perpetuated over time through selective coupling and breeding practices unique to each group.....

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